Ry tells Her how it is

Ryan and Terrence were in Wal-Mart getting a few things. For some reason Terrence wasn't with Ryan when I was on the phone with Ryan. He was picking up some Ginger Ale and Sprite and put the phone (and consequently me) in his pocket for just a minute. Where Terrence's name appears is when he showed up to this conversation.

This is what I heard.

Ry: Do you have a problem?

Stranger Lady: Why do you dress like a girl but where cologne? You're a man. Be a damn man.

Ry: Lady, just cause I can strut all over this bitch in these high ass heels AND look better than all of you while doing it AND not as fat as damn hippopotamus doesn't mean I'm not a man. I am a man, doll, I'm just a man in high heels who looks and smells damn fucking good.

Stranger Lady: Ain't no one likes that shit.

Terrence: I beg to differ. He has four others waiting on him at home. Three men and a woman, and they all love him. How many do you have waiting at home?

Ry: You forgot the Child.

Stranger Lady: Damn sluts and shit... -fades out-

Ry: I hate fucking Wal-Mart. HEB all the way.

Terrence: Wal-Mart is a cluster-fuck of classes, wanna bees, and trash.

Ry: You stood up for me.

Terrence: I always do.

Ry: I love you...

Terrence: I love you, too.

Lor: Guys...? Guys? HELLO!? RYAN!

Ry: Sweetie! What we're we talking about? Right! Your doctor's appointment!

Lor: -_- Bastard.

Ry: A bastard who looks and smells damn good.

Lor: Right. Get your ass home so we can prove to that lady just how much "no one likes that shit" and just what kind of "sluts and shit" we is.

Ry: You mean you feel better enough for sex?

Lor: ... No. But I can watch.

Ry: So, when do you wanna go to the doctor?

Lor: Will sex get me out of the doctor appointment?

Ry: That ship has sailed, exploded, and sunk to the bottom of Mariner's Trench.

Terrence: Never a dull moment.

Massages and Yetis

So last night I was getting ready to go to bed since I felt like shit but Ryan had other ideas. We had no idea Rik had his memo voice recorder on and Rik caught our entire conversation. I shit you not this is what was said word for word.

Enjoy.

Ry: What the hell are you doing?

Lor: Getting ready for bed?

Ry: No. You need to shower and shave.

Lor: DUDE! I just showered earlier today. Why the hell do I have to do it again?

Ry: Some stranger is going to feel you up all sorts of ways tomorrow and the last thing you want is to smell like a damn yeti.

Lor: And you know how a yeti smells, how?

Ry: Shut up and shower.

Lor: NO!

Ry: Fine. You'll just have to get up early tomorrow and shower.

Lor: I'm not showering!

Ry: The hell you aren't! You'll smell like a damn yeti and feel like one with those mammoth hairy legs.

Lor: [looks at legs] They are not mammoth hairy! Maybe a little fuzz. The normal fuzz from a full day.

Ry: Right. A fucking yeti.

Lor: -_- You're an ass.

Ry: Least I smell like a fucking flower gard. Now! Move it! SHOWER! Come on! I'll give you a cookie.

Lor: I don't want a damn cookie.

Ry: Pie?

Lor: No.

Ry: Cobbler?

Lor: No.

Ry: Cake?

Lor: The cake is a lie.

Ry: Sex?

Lor: -_- That's not fair.

Ry: Life ain't fair, honey.

Lor: You won't shut the hell up till I shower, will you?

Ry: You've known me how long?

Lor: [get's up and heads for the shower] I hate you.

Ry: You love me or you wouldn't be showering.

Lor: Shut the hell up and shave my legs for me.

Ry: BITCH! You have to two working hands.

Lor: You know just as well as I do you always rub all over my legs to see if I missed a spot so this time you might as well do it so you'll only have yourself to blame.

Ry: I'll get the new shaving cream.

Lor: Berries?

Ry: Peach Mango.

Lor: Ohhhhhhhh.

Jai: You're both girls.

Lor: [checks] The lack of a penis confirms this.

Ry: You've seen my closet right?

Lor: You're closet is scary.

Ry: HEY! No dissing the closet.

Lor: I was stating fact.

Ry: Diss my closet and you're on your own.

Lor: Then I'm going to bed.

Ry: I'll sit on you.

Lor: And I'll tie your ass up and leave you in the garage.

Ry: You wouldn't! It's cold out there.

Lor: I'll give you a blanket and heating pad.

Ry: Mean-ass yeti.

Lor: Shave me, bitch.

That's pretty much it. Everything else is normal life stuff or Jai coughing.